"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!"

This particular entry is dedicated to those oh so precious moments when life or someone, who has no idea of the ramifications of the statement they just made, will provide a moment of pure hilarity and head shaking of utter disappointment that they could be soooooo wreckless with their mouth. When your homegirl yells down the steps, "Wow its really wet down there!"

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1. 
   
   When I showed my co-worker the metal object that was lodged in my tire, she said, "wow that's pretty big!"
2. 
   
   So one day I'm chillin on the couch watching XXX (no not porn), and the hero goes, "I'm going to have to get on it!"
3. 
   
   My homegirl and I was discussing drinking alcohol for the first time. She had got quiet for a spell and then just blurted out, "It tasted terrible and made me feel pretty sick. I'm really glad I got over the taste!"
4. 
   
   I thought of an idea one day while medicating called Porn for the Blind, when I asked what would be the purpose, I was told "you have to feel it to believe it!"
5. 
   
   My best friend called and said, " I have a package that needs to be taken care of!"
6. 
   
   I was going over the exam review with my students and one of the girls yells out, "Man that looks really hard!"
7. 
   
   Offered to drive my bestfriend's car to the store, she told me to "make sure I pull out slowly"
8. 
   
   The front desk agent handed us our key and mentioned, "make sure when you put it in, you take it out fast!"
9. 
   
   My last paper in undergrad was a free write about our experiences, the only directions the teacher gave us was when told us to "make sure its long enough to feel it"
10. 
    
    I stole a pack of Gushers from my lil cousin, my homegirl saw them and asked for one, when I said no, she said "Come on, I like when they explode in my mouth!"
11. 
    
    I was grading my senior's final essay and I noticed it was on one sheet of paper, she said "I didnt think I could fit it all in!"
12. 
    
    The waiter asked "how do you want that steak prepared?" I responded "Well done, it's better when its black!"
13. 
    
    I called my girlfriend to tell here I was at outside her house, she told me "I think you should come in the back door!'
14. 
    
    When addressing my class I told them "ok guys, I know this is hard, and long and a pain in the butt, but you still have to do it!'
15. 
    
    I had company over and I was offering them something to drink, a girl politely declined. When I asked was she sure, she replied "I dont want to spill juices all over your couch!"
16. 
    
    My uncle was helping install a ceiling fan when he noticed my mistake and said "You drilled this in pretty deep!"
17. 
    
    I was eating an eclair when my friend noticed it was dripping cream out the bottom and yelled "it's dripping make sure you suck it all out!"
18. 
    
    When leaving Macy's the cashier told me to "Please come again!"
19. 
    
    My friend asked if I could give her a ride to Ikea. When I asked why doesnt she drive her own car she states, "the package is too big; it won't fit in my trunk!"
20. 
    
    My friend asked me if I want to try this new candy so I said cool. She asked me do I like it and I asked her was I supposed to suck or bite on it (pause) she told me "I just usually hold it in my mouth!"
21. 
    
    Some friends were having a cookout, when we got there I walked over to speak and was like "oh shit I didnt know you got crabs!"
22. 
    
    When we finally arrived we were disappointed by what we saw, my friend told me "it looked bigger on the internet!"
23. 
    
    My aunt called me over to help her move some furniture. I asked which one and she pointed to the couch and said, "every time i pull it out i almost break my back"
24. 
    
    My art teacher was explaining the project to us, when asked how we get it to look like the example she said "it usually hardens when exposed to air!"
25. 
    
    While writing this a friend of mine was reading and said "If you get one more that will be 25!"
    
    

    THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!