Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Stalker Chronicles pt. 1 "The Introduction"

So what if you could read what your new boo was thinking....everytime he was kickin that good shit, right after he left, you'd get a letter in the mail detailing his exact thoughts in plain black and white. What would it say? Would it become more clear for you? Would you be more inclined to adhere to the warning signs? Here's what it looks like...


I’m everything you’ll ever want need, and desire…I’ll monopolize most of your time because I’ll demand it and you’ll crave it. My spontaneity will keep you on your toes; from me you’ll never see it coming. Having someone like me by your side you’ll never have to worry about who has your back; spiritually, emotionally, financially, sexually, or even if shit goes down I’d be there standing beside you. Overall I’m low maintenance hell when you have it not much preparation is need. So if there are special request, I expect you to provide it.

My overall sexiness and endearing personality will make you the envy of your friends. Most will inquire where you met me and wonder if I have a brother, secretly desiring me but would know better because you’d snap and whip their asses. I’m the same man that would take you to lavishly travel to remote destinations with dinning on tailored cuisine, and the same man you that would take you to the IHOP up the street, versatility is vital, and discretion in using this versatility is the truest example of a real man. Yes I’m arrogant, brash and opinionated but these are qualities you’ll love about me.

Normally I’m a very calm and high-spirited person; anger can generally be used as a sign of weakness, but on the same token if you piss me off you’ll regret it. Usually I’m on either end of the spectrum, I’m either extremely hot or extremely cold with no median. So ultimately I need a person to provide that balance. Of course when it comes to my significant other I’m selfish, jealous, and territorial, so those male friends forget about them. With me around they’re obsolete, if you have a problem, come to me… if you want to go out, I’ll take you, if you want sex, I’m the only person you’ll ever desire, and if you went elsewhere I’d hunt you down. You’ll know better than to ever doubt my love, question my motives, or play with my emotions, partially out of love and respect, but mainly out of consequence.

I won’t lie to you; I have an outrageously high sex drive with unrealistic standards. At this point in my life I’m not willing to teach anyone, if you don’t come to my bedroom door with a certain skill level, you’ll be immediately declined. With that being said, I’m overly confident in my personal abilities, and if warranted I have references. Being that I’m extremely sexually selective my body count is minimal so wondering where I got a particular skill would never be questioned I come to the table well equipped so you’d damn well come with the same. If you can’t meet or offer more than what I have exactly why would I keep you around? If you can’t satisfy me totally you’ll know it, and ultimately lose the best thing in your life.

So I guess I’m just as messed up as you are
Question what happens when two crazy people hook up??

Friday, April 10, 2009

Need more than 140-160 characters

Here is a serious of thoughts that I may have or have come up in a conversation I have had...but obviously twitter and status messages are not long enough...so why not here when I have the access to my own blog...



Happiness is not an emtion!!
It is an decision..
Why you say??
We are not in charge of our emotions, but we are in charge of our choices
People seek happiness...
They spend their whole lives looking for it
But how do you seek something that's already suppose to be inside of you
True happiness is still within us as human beings....right??
So why not CHOOSE to embrace that happiness...
Now we may not be in charge of our emotions...But...
We are in charge of our decisions..
We can even search for the meaning in our decisions or seek to understand why a decision was made...

Disclaimer: I'm looking for different perspectives here. So please dont hold back. This is just my opinion (therefore making the right one..lol) but I would love to hear from others. Whether you follow in public or anonymously, just chime in and give me your 2 cents.

Since this convo took place over BB Messenger I will share with you the initial response I got:

"Not all people seek happines. Some search day and night and for some, it is placed direct eye sight. Happiness is not "in" everyone. It is available to everyone though because it is not something to buy, but something you feel. Searching for the meaning of your choice makes no sense. One should search for why they make the choices they do and if those choices are worth their happiness."

It's kinda like a walker.....only different!

The item below is on sale in the US and on high demand...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

It looks like a seat. But what is its intended use? Ha - You might as well ask...

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT.


FOR THE LINE: "I DON'T WANT TO STRESS MYSELF HONEY"
HERE IS ... "THE COMFY SEX TOY".
It's on sale in the States for $99,00.

Now how could we sell you this product without showing you how to use it..here's a few ways to utilize this groundbreaking product...


Image and video hosting by TinyPicTROT
The classic Gravitizer position that satisfies every time. The convex saddle shape gently compresses her anatomy into a velvet vice - a unique sensation no other toy can give - rendering extra stimulation and pleasure for both partners. Alternate with Flexing for a ride that's got energy and nuance.


Image and video hosting by TinyPicFLEXER
Nothing beats a slow, sensual flexing. One of the easiest, most pleasant position that can give you The Gravitizer. Alternate with the Trot, or reverse directions for more intimacy - the Flexer can be done facing either way. Always place legs through The Gravitizer as shown to prevent tipping.


Image and video hosting by TinyPicHAMMER
Extra control for her, with an exotic clamping action on the upstroke. Have her grip the sides and pull down for greater penetration. You can use towels and pillows for more comfortable ride.


Image and video hosting by TinyPicBLISS BOX
Give her the full treatment. A rock-hard shaft and a pair of loving hands at the same time render a potent, soothing climax. Position next to a bed or other firm support for his comfort.


Image and video hosting by TinyPicDOGHOUSE
Throw her over the doghouse - a natural for doggy-style lovers. A classic position freed of awkward balance and position issues, and now also allowing her to masturbate comfortably while enjoying vigorous rear entry. Put a thick towel on the saddle for her comfort.


Image and video hosting by TinyPicPLUNGER
One of the most popular positions, offering soothing penetration in the comfort of a loving embrace. Let him bounce her for a heady ride to ecstasy. Position next to a bed or other firm support for his comfort.


Image and video hosting by TinyPicSHAFTER
Extra control and authority for a position that demands a strong performance. Have him go "hands-only" for a more athletic position - just curl legs

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

OMG...WTF!! Ok Seriously

The ball headed fool he is kissing doesn’t seem to understand, what the fuck is wrong with this picture, besides those pants. Is that labradore retriever, or gerbil or cowrdly lion?? (I fight ya one hand behind my back, put em up put em up)


Dwight Eubanks, owner of the Purple Doors Salon and Housewives of Atlanta Fame has announced to the world that he’s getting married. He announced his engagement to a WOMAN!! A WOMAN!!! He even held an engagement party.

He says that he is engaged to a woman who knows that he dates men. WOOOOOOOOOW!!!

This is wildness that he told Essence.com:

“I get more play from
women than men,”
“I can’t get a date with a man, but the women are knocking my doors down. They just love you when you can be real about who you are.”

"In Atlanta, a city known for its high population of gay and rumored down low Black men, keeping it real remains an important part of a relationship."
“It’s really interesting because the men are so standoffish, but the women don’t care,” says Dwight. “Most of the men around here are gay, lying to their wives, slipping and dipping and all that, but it is what it is. You have to enjoy life, and that’s what I am doing.”


Dwight shares he is completely honest with his intended about his sexuality. (tone: skeptical)

Here's a fucked up ass statistic for you:

71% of women who find out that their man has slept with another man, will stay in the relationship.

Now I can’t speak for all women, but would you???

This is a response from one of my homegirls:
"On the real I think I am gonna get me a gay husband too...we can just be married on paper, sleep in separate rooms and he can see who he wants and I can see who I want and just come home to each other and eat breakfast and dinner and talk about our "others"--it will be more like til death do me and my BFF apart...and then we can adopt kids and just have one big ole happy family!! I bet my hair, make up and wardrobe would be fierce!! What do you think?? Ru Paul and B. Scott could be at our wedding yeah Luv Muffins!!"

Like I said...WTF!! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!

Emotional Rollercoasters...And why I refuse to ride them pt.1


So one day I opened up my gmail and realized I had what looked to be a very long email...a very very long email from a woman that I had high hopes for. I'm confused here....


"this is something i wrote a while ago... i decided not to send it because i didn't think it would matter. and, according to you, i think too much, so maybe my thought was wrong. either way, after our chat today, i am compelled to share it with you. don't feel obligated to respond... its cool either way."
(name will remain anonymous)
---------

it should be very obvious to you by now that there is something luminous about your personality that has attracted me. this attraction was not necessarily instant, but after our third (i believe) conversation, i became intrigued by your complex, unpredictable personality. i enjoyed your humor, your seriousness, and your presence in a way that made me more afraid than i have been in a while. as i already told you, i could see so many similarities in our personalities that i began to doubt that anything positive would come from our interaction. i immediately predicted that in our first disagreement, we would both be equally too stubborn to admit our faults. i sensed your determination to have the last word and your confidence that you could win any battle of sarcasm. and as much as i was excited to have met my match, i was in unfamiliar territory.

while i have always loved a challenge, you were and still are a challenge that defeated me before it even began. unfortunately, i think i accepted this defeat without putting up a fight. when i went home for christmas, i purposely created a distance between us to protect myself from actually acknowledging any emotional connection that would potentially end in hurt. i thought that you would eventually just fade away, like all the others that I purposely push out of my life. but strangely, you have not completely faded as i had planned. it may have been your intention to slowly (or not so slowly) exit my life, but i cannot be so sure. all i know is that we have very minimal communication and when i see you, we barely converse, let alone touch. to be honest, this did not bother me before, as i understand one's tendency to shift inward at times. i have been known to do that on many occasions. but when this became a pattern i began to wonder what our problem was. how could we go from laughing and hugging all the time to absolutely nothing? it seemed as if things changed between us so quickly and the friendship that was growing began to whither away with the winter snow.

maybe i did not do enough to repair any damage that may have been my responsibility. or maybe my self-centered tendencies simply revealed themselves to you. however, i began to sense your distance which led me to believe that you just weren't feeling me. now, as much as i hate rejection, this kind of hurt my ego a bit, but that's life. you win some. you lose some. you keep it moving. i still find you extremely intriguing, even more complex than before, and i miss laughing with you. however, i understand that our time may have run its course... or that time may have never been on our side. i do think that you deserve all of the qualities that you seek in a woman (and a friend), but you must understand that the woman you find will bring with her a set of complexities to work through with you, not on her own. sometimes, us women, in protecting ourselves from the disappointing behaviors that men have proven to consistently perpetuate, make judgement calls that may not always be warranted.

to be clear, this email does not disregard any times that you have fallen below my standard of respect or just flat out hurt my feelings. it is simply me expressing my thoughts to you, which is something i should have done a while ago

(PLEASE CONTINUE ON TO PT. 2)

Emotional Rollercoasters...And why I refuse to ride them pt.2



So after all of that I pulled out the only thing that brings some clarity to the thoughts running thru my head and I sat down and this is what came out..the more I think I can understand the opposite sex the more I dont...I used to have the ability to get in, buckle up and take anything they could throw at me. These days that thrill is dead and I want no parts of it....enjoy

I'm an Emotional Idiot
so get away from me.
I mean,
COME HERE.
Wait, no,
that's too close
give me some space
it's a big country,
there's plenty of room,
don't sit so close to me.
Hey, where are you?
I haven't seen you in days.
What are you having an affair?
Who is she?
Come on,
aren't I enough for you?
God,
You're so cold.
I never know what you're thinking.
You're not very affectionate.
I mean,
you're clipping to me,
DON'T TOUCH ME,
what am I, your fucking cat?
Don't rub me like that.
Don't you have anything better to do
than sit there fawning over me?
Don't you have any interests?
Hobbies?
Sailing Fly Fishing
Archeology?
There's an archeology expedition leaving tomorrow
why don't you go?
I'll loan you the money,
my money is your money.
my life is your life
my soul is yours
without you I'm nothing.
Move in with me
we'll get a studio apartment together, save on rent,
well, wait, I mean, a one bedroom,
so we don't get in each other's hair or anything
or, well,
maybe a two bedroom,
it's nothing personal
I just need to be alone sometimes,
you do understand
don't you?
Hey, why are you acting distant?
Where are you going,
was it something I said?
What
what did I do?
I'm an emotional idiot
so get away from me
I mean,
MARRY ME.

WAKE THE FUCK UP!!




Sisters:
You don’t want to BE his mother...But you want someone who is like your father.
You say all men are dogs...But you should know ALL DOGS ARE LOYAL.
NO one wants a pimp...But you LOVE the thug.
MEN ain't shit...But you will drop your friends in a minute if he calls.
Don’t want to be a SEX symbol...But at the club you are GRINDIN` all around the dance floor, in your "club outfit".
Hate the MIND games...But at a club your name is Kim when your real name is Rita.

Brothers:
Flaunt your jewels, clothes, and timbs...But complain about a gold digger.
Want to be Big Poppa...But not be a daddy.
Want a woman with her head on right...But constantly searching for a HOTBODY.
Complain about the WHITE man...But you’ll date his daughter.
Want a woman to stand by your side through it all...But claim that she crowds you.
Too young for a RELATIONSHIP...But ready for RELATIONS.