Can anyone play cover for Lil Wayne...

You have GOT to check this out before someone flags it and takes it down. Now I'm normally very skeptical of posts like this on Craigslist, but I like to image hilarious/ F-d up situations like this one as well so check it out, trust me, it's worth it.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/tlg/1218083689.html (unfortunately the post was removed but here it is for your reading pleasure)

“My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately.Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. I understand he grunts and mumbles a lot. I don’t care if you are 67 and Jewish if you can sing the songs you’re hired. Money is not an issue. Name your price. Interested individuals please let me know your rap experience, video of you performing as Lil Wayne would be better. If that is not feasible we can arrange for a live audition.Serious inquiries only, this is very important to my family. Young Money Baby!"

Please Please comment, I don't have it in me..ok I'm lying...

This is wrong on soooo many levels.

Concerns:

1. are you that desperate?

2. are all your child's friends blind as well?

3. is there an award for mother of the year by pulling off this deception?

4. are you ready to explain to your child how you lied to him?

During the offering!! just to make you laugh

please please comment!!

The Stalker Chronicles pt. 2 " The Pitch" aka "The Bid for Control"

Here's long awaited conclusion to The Stalker Conclusion, sometimes you're just in denial about the situation you're in. This is what they are really saying when they say "Baby I'm in it for the loooong run!!"

I will be the best boyfriend you ever had. You'll want to call me because I am fun to talk to. You'll want to spend the majority of your time with me because I'm fun, make you laugh, and always full of surprises and crazy ideas. You don't mind showing me off because I'm hot and always a gentleman with great manners, as well as very sociable. I'll do little things to show I care, those little things that show I really know you...that shows I do pay attention, that shows I do think about you. I will probably be one of the better lays you get, people have told me I'm a freak, I just think I have a normal sex drive, and feel for women who cannot fully experience sex for all it has to offer. Then, that's when I start. You're hooked; you have future thoughts of me. I'm handsome, smart, caring, sensitive, thoughtful, responsible, honest, trustworthy, mature, elegant, refined, well mannered...etc.

But I can also be angry...impatient...jealous...will pick fights for no reason...won't want you to hang out with your friends unless I can come too... will pick at you if you've seemed to forgotten your manners (big thing for me)...well be mad if you are late...won't understand that you need girl time...and I'll be damned if you go on a vacation with your friends while I stay behind. However, I am allowed to go on vacations with my friends. I am allowed to have a guy’s night out. I'll be jealous if you go out to lunch with a male co-worker, although I do it all the time with female co-workers, and about 80% of my friends are girls. What can I say, I just want to be your everything, and the rest, well, there is no rest.

I want to be your best friend. I want to experience life with you. I want for you to feel you are not really on vacation, unless I'm with you. I want for you to rather have me WITH you when you're hanging out with your friends, because I'm a friend too, and I get along with all your friends. I want to be the first person you call when something good OR bad happens. I want you to lavish me with your time, cook me meals, to show me how much you appreciate having me in your life, because even though I am a crazy ass, I’ll bring a lot of joy into your life, and at the same time, make it seem like all my craziness is a small price to pay to have me. You know it because I'm the only man that consumes your mind.

I am the one in your fantasies. I'm the man you want to introduce to your parents AND friends, and the same man you want to take home and just throw into bed. You know I am always there for you, and you know I'll always support you and be an ear, give advice, whatever it is that you are needing at that moment, EVEN if we did just have a huge fight. I might try to emotionally push you away, but don't let me. Else it's onto the next girl, who will feel the same way about me that you did, but by the time you grow some nerve to try to get me back, even though I was the one that broke it off, I'll already be taken. Yet, you'll still have your hopes.... Sound like someone you want? Then you might have more problems than I do...

Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Day (6/19/09)

Today is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Day :Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a flip about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of IkeTurner, I am so very very glad to officially announce today as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:

* You can only slap one person per hour - no more .
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day .
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant .
* No weapons are allowed . . . other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher .
* After you have slapped the recipient, your"assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your empty brain always messing up stuff!"

* If questioned by a supervisor or police, (if the supervisor is the irritant), you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping . . . . . and have a GREAT DAY!

E. Badu Live 09 and New Chrisette Michelle - Epiphany

http://www.mediafire.com/?mydgy2lly3y

Tracklist
------------

01. Intro Performing (Creating A Moment) 0:17
02. Badu 1:37
03. Annie 3:35
04. Me 4:32
05. Soldier 4:33
06. Didn't Cha Know 8:46
07. Other Side Of The Game 9:32
08. Honey 4:57
09. The Healer 3:30
10. Searching 4:10
11. Stay (Chaka Khan Cover) 4:41
12. Love Hangover (Diana Ross Cover) 3:30
13. Your Mind 6:40
14. A Cipher 2:09
15. Ye-Yo 4:53
16. Next Lifetime 11:41




http://rapidshare.com/files/229573562/CM-E-GR-09.rar

01. Epiphany (I'm Leaving) 3:28
█ 02. Notebook 3:46
█ 03. What You Do (Feat. Ne-Yo) 3:22
█ 04. Blame It On Me 4:09
█ 05. All I Ever Think About 3:40
█ 06. Playin' Our Song 3:33
█ 07. Another One 3:39
█ 08. On My Own 3:47
█ 09. Fragile 4:15
█ 10. Mr. Right 4:22
█ 11. Porcelain Doll 3:45
█ 12. I'm Okay 4:17

▄▄ [ RELEASE NOTES ] ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▄▄▄▄ ▄▄ ▄▄ ▄
█
█ Chrisette Michele says she had a realization about relationships that lead
█ her to name her upcoming sophomore album "Epiphany." The set, which comes on
█ the heels of her Grammy win, is due on March 31 via Def Jam. The first
█ single, the Ne-Yo-penned title track, enters at No. 78 on the R&B/Hip-Hop
█ songs chart this week, according to Nielsen Soundscan.
█
█ "I heard the song that Ne-Yo had written titled 'Epiphany,' and the word just
█ stood out to me," Michele tells Billboard.com. "It stood out to me because
█ I'd been through a lot in my last relationship, and the word 'epiphany'
█ exemplified exactly what happened in the end when I realized I didn't have to
█ put myself through it anymore."
█
█ Michele refers to the relationship with her former manager, Douglas "Biggs"
█ Ellison, who Michele sued for embezzlement and harassment last year. Ellison
█ later countersued for breach of exclusive management agreement. The lawsuit
█ is currently still in motion.
█
█ Still, Michele is optimistic and says this album is a reflection of that. To
█ create what she describes as a more upbeat/youthful sound she tapped on the
█ likes of Chuck Harmony, Claude Kelly, B Major and Ne-Yo, who writes and
█ co-executive produced the set. The album features no guest collaborations.
█
█ And while a second single hasn't been selected yet, Michele does say one of
█ her favorite tracks is the piano-based "Blame It On Me," in which she croons,
█ "Blame it on me / say it's my fault / say I left you out in the cold with a
█ broken heart / I really don't care / I'm not lying no more / say I'm a
█ cheater, a liar, whatever you want / as long as it's over."
█
█ Another stand-out track is "On My Own," which the self-proclaimed daddy's
█ girl says reminds her of her father. "I'm very close to my dad, but recently
█ I've learned how to handle situations on my own, without having him step in
█ for me, and it took a lot of me to be able to do that," she admits.
█
█ Other songs set to appear on "Epiphany" include "I'm Ok," the hip-hop-tinged
█ "Another One," the ballad "Notebook," plus tracks "What You Do," "Playing
█ Our Song," and "Fragile."
█
█ Michele's debut release, "I Am," has sold 419,000 copies in the United
█ States, according to Nielsen Soundscan. "Be OK," the album's third single,
█ won the 2009 Grammy award for Best Urban/Alternative Performance.
█

Music you might want..

http://www.mediafire.com/?drdgdlizmaw




http://rapidshare.com/files/223849323/The_Cartel_Lil_Wayne___Drake-The_Carter_Meets_The_Cartel_II-_Bootleg_-2009-RapGodFathers.com.rar



http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0QUNKK4V



http://www.sendspace.com/file/d80ooi

The Stalker Chronicles pt. 1 "The Introduction"

So what if you could read what your new boo was thinking....everytime he was kickin that good shit, right after he left, you'd get a letter in the mail detailing his exact thoughts in plain black and white. What would it say? Would it become more clear for you? Would you be more inclined to adhere to the warning signs? Here's what it looks like...


I’m everything you’ll ever want need, and desire…I’ll monopolize most of your time because I’ll demand it and you’ll crave it. My spontaneity will keep you on your toes; from me you’ll never see it coming. Having someone like me by your side you’ll never have to worry about who has your back; spiritually, emotionally, financially, sexually, or even if shit goes down I’d be there standing beside you. Overall I’m low maintenance hell when you have it not much preparation is need. So if there are special request, I expect you to provide it.

My overall sexiness and endearing personality will make you the envy of your friends. Most will inquire where you met me and wonder if I have a brother, secretly desiring me but would know better because you’d snap and whip their asses. I’m the same man that would take you to lavishly travel to remote destinations with dinning on tailored cuisine, and the same man you that would take you to the IHOP up the street, versatility is vital, and discretion in using this versatility is the truest example of a real man. Yes I’m arrogant, brash and opinionated but these are qualities you’ll love about me.

Normally I’m a very calm and high-spirited person; anger can generally be used as a sign of weakness, but on the same token if you piss me off you’ll regret it. Usually I’m on either end of the spectrum, I’m either extremely hot or extremely cold with no median. So ultimately I need a person to provide that balance. Of course when it comes to my significant other I’m selfish, jealous, and territorial, so those male friends forget about them. With me around they’re obsolete, if you have a problem, come to me… if you want to go out, I’ll take you, if you want sex, I’m the only person you’ll ever desire, and if you went elsewhere I’d hunt you down. You’ll know better than to ever doubt my love, question my motives, or play with my emotions, partially out of love and respect, but mainly out of consequence.

I won’t lie to you; I have an outrageously high sex drive with unrealistic standards. At this point in my life I’m not willing to teach anyone, if you don’t come to my bedroom door with a certain skill level, you’ll be immediately declined. With that being said, I’m overly confident in my personal abilities, and if warranted I have references. Being that I’m extremely sexually selective my body count is minimal so wondering where I got a particular skill would never be questioned I come to the table well equipped so you’d damn well come with the same. If you can’t meet or offer more than what I have exactly why would I keep you around? If you can’t satisfy me totally you’ll know it, and ultimately lose the best thing in your life.

So I guess I’m just as messed up as you are
Question what happens when two crazy people hook up??

Long Awaited Mos Def

And its a double album... FUCKING SWEEEEEEET!!

http://www.sendspace.com/file/zpgm0z

Need more than 140-160 characters

Here is a serious of thoughts that I may have or have come up in a conversation I have had...but obviously twitter and status messages are not long enough...so why not here when I have the access to my own blog...



Happiness is not an emtion!!
It is an decision..
Why you say??
We are not in charge of our emotions, but we are in charge of our choices
People seek happiness...
They spend their whole lives looking for it
But how do you seek something that's already suppose to be inside of you
True happiness is still within us as human beings....right??
So why not CHOOSE to embrace that happiness...
Now we may not be in charge of our emotions...But...
We are in charge of our decisions..
We can even search for the meaning in our decisions or seek to understand why a decision was made...

Disclaimer: I'm looking for different perspectives here. So please dont hold back. This is just my opinion (therefore making the right one..lol) but I would love to hear from others. Whether you follow in public or anonymously, just chime in and give me your 2 cents.

Since this convo took place over BB Messenger I will share with you the initial response I got:

"Not all people seek happines. Some search day and night and for some, it is placed direct eye sight. Happiness is not "in" everyone. It is available to everyone though because it is not something to buy, but something you feel. Searching for the meaning of your choice makes no sense. One should search for why they make the choices they do and if those choices are worth their happiness."

It's kinda like a walker.....only different!

The item below is on sale in the US and on high demand...



It looks like a seat. But what is its intended use? Ha - You might as well ask...

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT.


FOR THE LINE: "I DON'T WANT TO STRESS MYSELF HONEY"
HERE IS ... "THE COMFY SEX TOY".
It's on sale in the States for $99,00.

Now how could we sell you this product without showing you how to use it..here's a few ways to utilize this groundbreaking product...


TROT
The classic Gravitizer position that satisfies every time. The convex saddle shape gently compresses her anatomy into a velvet vice - a unique sensation no other toy can give - rendering extra stimulation and pleasure for both partners. Alternate with Flexing for a ride that's got energy and nuance.


FLEXER
Nothing beats a slow, sensual flexing. One of the easiest, most pleasant position that can give you The Gravitizer. Alternate with the Trot, or reverse directions for more intimacy - the Flexer can be done facing either way. Always place legs through The Gravitizer as shown to prevent tipping.


HAMMER
Extra control for her, with an exotic clamping action on the upstroke. Have her grip the sides and pull down for greater penetration. You can use towels and pillows for more comfortable ride.


BLISS BOX
Give her the full treatment. A rock-hard shaft and a pair of loving hands at the same time render a potent, soothing climax. Position next to a bed or other firm support for his comfort.


DOGHOUSE
Throw her over the doghouse - a natural for doggy-style lovers. A classic position freed of awkward balance and position issues, and now also allowing her to masturbate comfortably while enjoying vigorous rear entry. Put a thick towel on the saddle for her comfort.


PLUNGER
One of the most popular positions, offering soothing penetration in the comfort of a loving embrace. Let him bounce her for a heady ride to ecstasy. Position next to a bed or other firm support for his comfort.


SHAFTER
Extra control and authority for a position that demands a strong performance. Have him go "hands-only" for a more athletic position - just curl legs